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4 The Emotional Drivers
Every decision you make and every action you take can be linked to at least one of eight emotional drivers. These needs drive your motivation and greatly affect the emotions you have toward anything. Awareness of how these needs affect you is a compass to what affects your personal effectiveness and fulfillment, and more importantly, why it is affected. These drivers and the importance you rank them in will determine parts of your “personality”, they have been influenced by the way your brain processes information, the culture you grew up in, the friends you've had, your family and your experience.
While any of these drivers will give us a certain amount of motivation, the more drivers that a particular action or inaction fulfills, the more pleasure (or absence of pain) we get from it and the more it becomes addictive. So if, let's say, if every time you started to get angry, those around you would do whatever you asked and then would try to cheer you up, you would get belonging, significance, security/control, diversity (because they would change their actions), and achievement (progress on your goal). You would immediately get 5 out of 8 needs filled by getting angry and it could get addictive.
The Eight basic Emotional Drivers
- Belonging/Love
Connection from being with others, or sense with self
- Security/Control
Knowing what will happen, having security in our lives
- Diversity/Change
Wanting a surprise, having variety and adventure
- Recognition/Significance
Having others pay attention to us, feeling important
- Achievement
The need to succeed in our plans, completion
- Challenge/growth
The opportunity to achieve and to grow
- Excellence
Self-satisfaction and pride in the things we do
- Responsibility/Contribution
Responsibility toward humanity, The need to give to others
There are many applications to motivation, drive, personality, work processes, leadership ability, referencing to the colored brain, and much more by understanding Emotional Drivers. But for this course we will concentrate on NEED SUCKING!
What is NEED SUCKING?
In group dynamics, each individual will have specific emotional drivers and needs that motivate them as explained above. While individuals do have different priorities of these needs, and may fulfill them differently, the needs are the same.
In a closed environment such as a department, a small company or a project group, some of these foundational needs are limited in the amount of emotional gratification that can be distributed amongst its members. When one or two members fill their own emotional needs first and take a majority of the fulfillment, they leave others with less or sometimes no gratification in these areas.
Three of the main emotional drives and needs that are sucked are:
- Feeling recognized, significant, important
- Feeling secure and in control
- Feeling of diversity and variety
When our basic emotional needs are taken away, we use our “Reptilian Brain”, and React like lizards, instead of acting intelligently. This happens often in organizations such as:
- Someone takes more credit than they should
- Someone makes decisions that affect you and you cannot do anything about it.
- Someone doesn't at least acknowledge your efforts or ideas because they think THEY know better.
- Someone takes all the fun and diverse projects or tasks and leaves you with the mundane jobs.
The people who do this are the Need Suckers in an organization
What's the solution?
First, remember that most Need Suckers don't know they're doing it, so when you tell someone, for example, “I don't have time for this”, what needs are you taking away? Is there a better way to handle it?
Second, now that you are aware of Need Sucking – DON'T DO IT!
Immediately after you read this you will start noticing the areas and people you have need sucked. You will also start seeing where others are need sucking you. this is your opportunity to say – “Excuse me, can I let you know about need sucking?” then explain it using the situation and how it affected you as an example. (BTW, if they say NO, they have need sucked you again and you should let them know) . You will notice wonders in your environment with just this step… if you use it.
If you would like to find out what Emotional Drivers drive you, take the complementary HDMA on-line
Please comment on this work at the DC BLOG: www.directivecommunicaiton.org
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